2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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