That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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