The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
