They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
