I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
