So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
your like the ambassador to my penis.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize