You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
