I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
