I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
