he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sext me about skeletons
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
