yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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