reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
