he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
