Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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