I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
