I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
