nut hugger
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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