Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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