I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
