sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
