Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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