this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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