he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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