in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
