If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
