oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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