No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
