brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
