no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The power of my boobs compel you
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
