Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize