if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
