And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
