people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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