yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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