i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
