Me too!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
