Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
