The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
