She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
