A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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