ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize