I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
