how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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