You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
