I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
