Ketchup is God's man juice
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
