goodnight i made you a song goodbye
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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