i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
