If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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