Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
