Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
