so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
