What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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