Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Randomize
