I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
