I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
