when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
