we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
