I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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