Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
